


Bed, Bath and Beyond

by IncorrectEcho



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Knifeplay, Murder, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25552243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncorrectEcho/pseuds/IncorrectEcho
Summary: After an unusual errand request from Lady Edelgard, Hubert heads to Abyss and runs into someone.
Relationships: Hubert von Vestra/Kronya
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Bed, Bath and Beyond

**Author's Note:**

> one-day drabble to procrastinate actual work you’re welcome

“So, where are the scented candles?” Hubert roamed Abyss. While the war was going on in full force, Edelgard put a lot of value in honoring the dead and tasked Hubert with finding her a candle for a ceremony. Of course, Hubert knew this was a pretense assignment and Lady Edelgard was currently fingering Byleth in Rhea’s former bedroom. It was certainly a way to celebrate humanity’s victory. 

“First time in Abyss?” a rogue asked Hubert, who was verifiably overdressed for such a casual task. Hubert cackled. “No. No, I don’t think it is.” Sure, Hubert acted surprised when Edelgard and von Hevring came back from an adventure from the deep, but Hubert’s spy network expanded far beyond the chambers of Garreg Mach, also sprawling under its grasp. 

The fact that Abyss suddenly housed markets for household objects was still a mystery though, although the right hand of the Master Tactician seemed to have an impeccable business acumen, even if it so far only accumulated in clean rooms without the girl getting her hands dirty. Still, in a twisted way, that wasn’t too far off from Hubert’s job. Especially since his fealty to Lady Edelgard now included searching scented candle.

Rogues and dagger-wielders scuttled around the place, dealing in weapons, armor and various trinkets that they believe increase their power. Of course, it wasn’t all criminals that roamed the place, which made Hubert even more uncomfortable. Clothing, toys and board games were on sale too, for those who don’t have safety as a luxury. 

Hubert inhaled the air. No poisons and certainly no “Rose-Scented Ravenous For Relaxation”, the candle Edelgard insisted on being required for the ceremony, rather than using them to burn down Rhea’s bed and wetting herself and the professor on the rose-colored ashes. This smell was more treacherous than that. It came closer.

“She’s here.” Hubert assessed for himself. It couldn’t be. That molding incarnation of betrayal itself was dragged to the underworld. Roaches do love to crawl to the surface though.

“Oh my gooooood what a coincidence! You’re here too!” the girl approached, skin glowing in the hellfire she brought along. She already pressed down the latex and held up her stingers. Her boobs too, of course. Hubert raised a smile. He loved a good comeback story, especially if that comeback story undressed herself in front of his very eyes.

“Kronya.” Hubert replied, eyeing for any hidden daggers. This was Kronya though. Every weapon at her disposal was in plain sight. “So it’s true, misfortune comes in threes.”  
”I can come alright.” Kronya slithered forward, grinding up to Hubert, using her dagger to stroke Hubert’s dick.  
She was good. 

“Go to hell, you unholy spawn.” Hubert asserted, but as the dagger dropped and only its wielder was now curling herself around his dick, it remained harder to keep the cool facade.   
“Unholy? Bold words for someone doing a very good job toppling the church.”   
Praise wasn’t exactly Hubert’s kink. Kronya used her dagger to cut open her clothes, revealing her grape skin ready for the taking. That was his kink.

“This place is too public.” Hubert once again tried to sway Kronya to stay away from his body and duty.  
“I know…” Kronya whimpered. “All these people in Abyss. Don’t you think it was nicer when it was just crooks and spies? Those were the days.” she said as her playful finger-twirling turned into a full chokehold, other hand now going full steam ahead and rubbing his dick.

Hubert’s grin filled his face. It was true. Abyss wasn’t for everyone. “Ever heard of a scented candle?” he said as he unbuckled his belt.  
Kronya chuckled. “Follow me.”

As they approached the candlemaker, their pants didn’t survive the rough environment of Abyss. Taking the rolling cart that one of the blacksmiths used to demonstrate their spears, Kronya lied down as Hubert pushed the cart in glee, before jumping on the cart with her once it had gathered enough speed, landing face-first in her titties and starting to suck immediately as the cart rolled down Abyss at high speed. Kronya pushed his head down to her lower area, and Hubert gladly obliged, curling his lips in a smile to tend to Kronya’s stomach, and as the cart descended off the stairs in high speed, the smooth skin around her vagina, sucking dry her dolphin skin. The cart crashed into the candle-store, pushing Hubert and Kronya against the booth as they continued their pursuit.

This time, Hubert took the lead as he sat firmly against the wall, taking Kronya’s hair and yanking it against his groin, which Kronya immediately took as a sign to start sucking. Hard from stroking his dick against her legs, Hubert groaned, with Kronya sucking his dick harder and further. Hubert looked around Abyss. Scented candles? Toys? Clothes? No, this was his paradise now. His eyesight faded as blood trembled in his cock. Kronya had now slid on her back and had the courtesy to slip her legs around Hubert. With one last pull at the feet, the penetration was complete as his cock was throbbing around smooth body of Kronya.   
Hubert in one last moment of clarity had ignited the candles behind him with a fireball, as he now entered an oasis of roses, lavenders and other Bed Bath and Beyond crap, as his only senses that came crashing in was his dick pulsating over the waves of Kronya’s body, who glided under him like the waves glide over the seaweed.   
In an attempt to activate his dulled senses, Hubert screamed at the same time as he came. Kronya had positioned herself so that the first thing Hubert would see in his post-nut clarity were her boobs, which caused Hubert to crash like the waves himself, tackling Kronya to the ground as he glided his lips over her curves, which now tasted like all possible flowers. His deflated dick now grinded himself against the soaping coastline of his own semen before slipping in her cavities again.  
Kronya cackled and took another dagger from her shoulder and pointed it at Hubert. Knowing the danger, there was only one thing left to do for him. He went in with his tongue. Seeing Kronya as distracted as himself, he pulled out his head and went in with his fingers.   
He cast Miasma.  
Kronya yelled in pain. Another Miasma, the oily fluid now shooting up her cervix. Kronya’s face turned red, taking her dagger and pulling herself up to stab Hubert, who casted another Miasma against her neck, rubbing it in with his fingers. Taking a dagger for himself, he then stabbed her, causing her to collapse to the floor and dissolving like a witch.

“One candle please.” Hubert said to the man behind the counter.   
“What scent?”  
“Rose-Scented Ravenous Relaxation.”   
“That’ll be 50 bucks.” 

Hubert left his gold on the counter and returned to Garreg Mach.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry


End file.
